Was it a grand funeral, the late Ari Squire asked his widow. Did many attend?
Mrs. Squire did a fine job of pretending that she was mourning her beloved husband, killed in a freak accident. The corpse that she buried was not that of Mr. Squire.
Two weeks ago, authorities found a body crushed under a pick-up truck in a garage belonging to Ari Squire. The garage had been set ablaze, but the height and weight of the victim fit Mr. Squire's measurements and he was presumed dead. Mrs. Squire held a memorial service last week. Her husband sent her an e-mail, asking for the attendance figures.
A day after Mr. Squire's supposed demise, Justin Newman's mother reported him missing when he failed to come home after going out to take up a new job....with Ari Squire.
The local coroner was a bit confused by the evidence before him. Mr. Squire was inked, but the body was not tattooed. Then there were the dental records, which didn't match. Couldn't be Mr. Squire, in that case, so who was it? When the DNA test results came in, the police easily determined that it was Justin Newman who was dead. In which case, where was Ari Squire?
Police in Eureka, Missouri discovered Mr. Newman's car in a motel parking lot. They found his name on a list of missing persons and went to talk to him. They never did get to tell him to call his mother, she was worried about him.
Mr. Squire put a bullet in his head rather than surrender and face justice. He may have thought he was fooling everyone, by coloring his hair and wearing blue contact lenses so that he looked a bit like Justin Newman. He was not bright enough to figure out that his teeth and his genetic material could never be made to match the man he killed.
A man with substantial debt, Mr. Squire may have been driven to kill as a means to get his hands on a $5 million life insurance policy. Mrs. Squire was questioned but has yet to be charged as an accessory. That begs the question: is Mrs. Squires entitled to the settlement? After all, her late husband is really most sincerely dead this time.