Making And Keeping Appointments

"Burglar," he said. "Just here to rob the place."

"Do you have an appointment?" they asked.

"I've got a gun," he said.

"Yes, but do you have an appointment? You have to make an appointment to see the manager. We don't have any money on hand and he's the only one to get into the safe. He's never in this early. Can we pencil you in for, oh, let's say, in four hours?"

"I'm a busy man," he continued. "Here's the number of my mobile phone. You call me when he gets in, or I'll come back this afternoon and blow you all away."

"Absolutely, sir," they said. "We'll be more than happy to call you. Around noon, then?"

The burglar left, to burgle another premises as that was his full time occupation. The employees of the transmission shop on Chicago's northwest side phoned the police, to report on the attempted armed robbery, and to let the officers know that they were bound on oath to ring up the burglar. Rather than let the men go back on their word, the police encouraged them to phone the burglar and ask him back to conclude his business.

"Surprise!" said the employees when the burglar returned. "We invited the police to your little burglary party. Hope you don't mind."

The guest of honor took offense at the presence of armed police officers when he was planning a more intimate gathering. Rather than be a gracious guest, he pointed a weapon at a plainclothes policeman. The would-be burglar, Ruben Zarate, is now in hospital, recovering from a gunshot wound to his leg.

Face it, if he wasn't a complete eejit he wouldn't be robbing transmission shops to earn his keep, would he?