Your Failure Explained

So you've written a novel and put together a query letter, but literary agents have yet to beat a path to your door. If only someone in the business could help you, to give you a few hints or clues. Why do I fail, you ask yourself, but you have no answers because you are not a publishing professional.

Thinking of attending a conference to meet agents and mingle with fellow writers? Rather pricey venture for five minutes of an agent's time, isn't it? But you don't have to go through that particular ordeal, not any more. Yes, thanks to literary agent Natasha Kern, you can now find out why you're an abject failure, and for only $75.00 (not a reading fee).

And did I mention that it's not a reading fee? No indeed, you can go right ahead and query her for free, but when the rejection letter arrives, you'll be left with the same questions you've always had. Enclose a check to Ms. Kern for $75.00 (not a reading fee) and she will send you an analysis that will point you in the right direction. She will look over your query and tell you if it sucks. She will read the first five pages of your manuscript and tell you if your writing sucks. And she will also let you know if your synopsis demonstrates a marketable concept and coherent plot, or does it suck as well.

Actually, the consultation fee does not ring of a scam. Ms. Kern states quite clearly on her website that you can send a submission and then follow up with the consulting fee after she's rejected you, to find out what you did wrong. After that, it will be up to you to fix the query letter or re-write the novel on your own. All she'll do for $75.00 is point out the flaws in the query, the two page synopsis, and the first three chapters of the manuscript. And if she does not represent what you've sent, she'll send the whole thing back without cashing the check.

Or, you can post your work on Writers Net or Absolute Write
and get skewered for free. The choice is yours.