Clean Out The Freezer...

...and you never know what you might find. Might be a three-year-old turkey, a gift from one of your business contacts. Perhaps there's the odd frozen pizza, purchased who knows when and so covered with freezer burn that the cheese looks entirely inedible.

If you're the Sims Clinic in Ireland, you've most likely uncovered some frozen embryos, no expiration date, and what do you do with them? The woman who created the ova wants them, but Mr. Sperm-provider has a different idea in mind. And it's all been dumped in the laps of the Right Honorable High Court, in the land of saints and scholars. Quite a mess, this housecleaning and freezer inventorying.

Mum-to-be insists that her frozen babbies have a right to life as per some article or other of the Constitution, which protects the rights of the unborn. Never thought there'd be unborn in a freezer, did you there, Eamonn DeValera? Caught you napping, lad, and here's the court trying to sort out the muddle. If the court rules in Mum-to-be's favor, she'll have the embryos thawed to room temperature and implanted. Dad on the sidelines is one hundred percent against it.

Back when the fertilization took place, Mum and the unwilling Dad were married and having problems with conceiving, hence the IVF protocol. They had a beautiful child as a result of a successful implantation, but the left-overs were put on ice for later use. Most unfortunate that Dad had an affair and left Mum for another woman. Now that he's with a new partner, he doesn't want more kids, and there's the three embryos in the freezer and what's to become of them?

He wants them sold to a needy couple, with the proceeds going to charity, but Mum is horrified at the notion of selling one's own children. Destroying the embryos has also been suggested, but with the same reaction on Mum's part. The source of the dilemma is due to a slight oversight, as the couple never thought about the fate of the frozen when they divorced. Visitation for the child, divide the marital assets, who gets the house and the car and the vacation caravan, but the little icecubes at the clinic were forgotten.

Science rushes headlong into the future, while the legal system lags far behind, dawdling along as lawyers do, splitting hairs while scientists are splicing genes. But there is one point where both disciplines can converge. Biologically, Mum is running out of time as she faces the onset of menopause. Lawyers are superior at wasting time, dragging out a case for years with writs and motions. Combine the ticking biological clock and the snail's pace of the law, and very soon, the answer will be moot.