If there's one thing that the Chicago newspapers love, it's a story about wealthy people in the high rent district doing something very stupid. That's front page material every time.
What does today's Chicago Tribune have in store for those who are dying to know how the upper crust lives? Fascinating to discover that a certain Mrs. Walgreen is keeping pigs on her estate. Oh yes, of course it's that Walgreen, my dear. In Chicago, everyone knows that the drug store magnates are up north in la-di-da Lake Forest, the name being so unique in the area that one is safe to assume that anyone named Walgreen, residing in Lake Forest, is one of them.
Juicy little bit of scandal in the blurb, about the pig-keeping Mrs. Walgreen being - gasp! - divorced from the grandson of the original Walgreen. (That final bit was added to make sure that you knew which Walgreen we were talking about. For those not fortunate enough to dwell on the North Shore, that is. You know who you are.) Well, it was himself gave her the pet pigs, but that was back when they lived on a ten acre estate in Lake Forest. Since the divorce, she's had to climb down a bit and move to smaller digs, getting by on a couple of acres. Oh, yes, and the Tribune does mention that the estate is on Sheridan Road, a very well-to-do part of town.
It's the neighbors complaining, in the way that neighbors complain in Lake Forest. They call in the lawyers, of course, and file a lawsuit. Lobbing writs and pleas over tall fences, they spar over the legality of keeping pet pigs versus small scale hog farming. Mrs. Walgreen's neighbor is disgusted with the grunting, and is concerned about her children. Even Mr. Walgreen's mother has put in her opinion, claiming that old man Walgreen was nearly nipped by one of the beasts. Have to wonder if that has anything to do with the divorce, but who can say? Firing back, Mrs. Walgreen insists that she keeps her critters clean, regularly changing the hay that is kept in her garage cum pigpen. And they're harmless, her three Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs.
The local politician feels that the ordinances are pretty clear, that piggies are not allowed, but there are lawyers who believe that the ordinances are not that tidy, being rather nebulous and all. Are we talking dogs and cats here, or any sort of domestic pet? Mrs. Walgreen does have a dog license, for her pigs, but the neighbors aren't buying it. Except for one, who thinks the pigs are rather dog-like and she even lets her children play with the things.
I'm thinking full Irish fry, rashers and black pudding. A lovely ham for Thanksgiving dinner. And maybe I can convince my Italian buddy to whip up a batch of his famous hot sausage. Yum. That's good eating.
Of course, by the time the lawyers finish with the whole business, the pigs will be long gone, off to meet their maker, and isn't that a waste of good pork?
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