The A.C.L.U. Steps In

David Buckthesystem, a leading attorney in the gay rights movement, is strongly considering an appeal of a recent decision by the Nebraska courts that ban gay marriage.

"We're suing biology," Mr. Buckthesystem said. "Because biology clearly discriminates against gays and lesbians."

In a recent decision by the United States Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit,

"laws limiting the state-recognized institution of marriage to heterosexual couples are rationally related to legitimate state interests and therefore do not violate the Constitution of the United States."

Ranting against the ruling, Mr. Buckthesystem insisted that his group's lawsuit had nothing to do with marriage. Rather, they are seeking the recognition of civil partnerships, granting the rights normally conferred on married couples to same-sex couples. But it is not to be confused with marriage.

On the other hand, James Seeksnorules of the ACLU argues that his interests lie in protecting families. Same-sex couple families, that is. Except that same-sex couples cannot procreate in the standard, long established biological fashion, which leads to a potential lawsuit against biology.

"It's not fair," Mr. Seeksnorules says. "A man and a woman can have a baby if they choose, but a same-sex couple must go through torturous medical procedures to reproduce. A same-sex couple who would like to form a nuclear family are at a severe disadvantage, and it's time that biology was re-written to accommodate my clients."

Mr. Seeksnorules claimed that he was astonished by the Nebraska ruling, which sought to deny same-sex families the same biology as traditional couples. A decision on further appeals is pending, but given the Circuit Court's refusal to consider a complete overhaul of the rules of biology, the ACLU would appear to have a very tough row to hoe.