What Drinking Problem?

Teenagers have not had a place to hang out since God invented teenagers.

There's never anything for them to do. They don't want to sit at home with their parents, not when they've been doing that since birth and they're not babies any more. They can't get into the pubs like the adults. Will no one in government listen to the teen plea?

In Ireland, the government has met and consulted with this downtrodden mass, to find out what it is that teens want. They want to be able to drink.

Sure they'd like something to do at night that's appropriate for their age group. Teen cafes would be lovely. Locals without booze would be adequate. A few mentioned educational opportunities, such as night classes that would offer something fun to do. The key is, whatever the teens want, they want to be able to be with their peers and not have adults mucking up the fun.

So why not lower the drinking age to sixteen from eighteen? Kids today swear that they'd act responsibly. It isn't their fault that so many are binge-drinking on weekends, using fake IDs to buy liquor. That's the parents' fault, isn't it?

Not only that, but the only reason those kids are drinking is because they're not supposed to be drinking, and what a thrill it is to sneak around and get away with it. If drinking was legal, well, where's the fun, right? Binge drinking among the mid-teen set would disappear.

They don't binge drink in France, do they? No, they drink responsibly. So let the Irish teen do the same, and then it's up to the parents to set the good example and quaff alcohol like the French do.

What sort of wine does one serve with boiled bacon and cabbage?