Why Rob a Bank?

There's money to be made in County Roscommon. It is said that Eastern Europeans are flocking to Ireland in search of prosperity, and here's proof that they've found it.


"Damian Dychtanowicz (28), of no fixed abode, was sentenced to two weeks imprisonment yesterday for begging at the Sacred Heart church on Abbey Street." The Irish Times reports.

If a bank robber robs a bank because that's where the money is, what better place for a beggar to beg than in front of a church? Isn't that where the sympathy is? Clever man, Mr. No Fixed Abode, to hold out his hand on St. Paddy's Day, and he made a great success of his start-up company. With profits like that, and Ireland cluttered with one church after another, the man could have made a killing. He was 11,000 euro ahead as it was, although anyone could have told him that it was better to store all that cash in the bank, rather than carry it around in a paper sack.

"Garda Michael Finnegan of Roscommon Garda station told the recent court sitting he had attended 11am Mass when he saw the defendant begging outside the church. He said the man was sitting on the ground with a placard and paper cup and was collecting money."I ordered him to leave the area and he left reluctantly," said Garda Finnegan." according to the article.

Unfortunately, your man being a foreigner worked against him. How was he to know the intricacies of Irish begging protocol? Or maybe he pushed his luck, keeping his one-man shop open beyond closing time and drawing some unwanted attention. Now he's off on a two-week vacation, a fixed abode for a fortnight, but where's he to go after that? Would he qualify for an all-expenses paid trip to Poland?

Is it any wonder that people are too cynical to give a beggar a hand-out? When you see someone on the street, palm open, isn't this exactly what's keeping your hand in your own pocket? If there's no honesty among thieves, there's not much among beggars, and Mr. No Fixed Abode gives the panhandler a very bad name indeed.