Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Clean Up In Aisle Nine

What does it take to get published? A good manuscript? A fantastic, perfect manuscript? You know yourself that won't get you anywhere in today's world. So, what do you need to do? Go to Wal-Mart.

A college student, and aspiring writer, came up with a story idea that involved spending Spring Break at Wal-Mart, which is certainly a cost-cutting methodology for the budget-minded. "I just intuitively thought, 'This is brilliant!'" his professor has been quoted as saying. What more incentive would a young man need than a professor's approval and the chance for an A in the class. It beats spending a small fortune traveling to Cancun or South Padre Island.

The teacher must have genuinely thought the idea was brilliant, because she contacted the local newspaper and the story started to roll from there. Someone from Penguin got wind of it, and the next thing you know, our aspiring writer has an agent calling him, no query, no synopsis, no nothing beyond aspirations.

The writing's on the wall, clear block print in Courier 12 point font. Aspiring writers the world over will be loitering in Sam's Club, Costco, Target, Super K-Mart, Sears, J.C. Penney, and the really clever ones will move into the neighborhood furniture mart. Before long, we'll be swamped with stories about 'Tuesdays with Sam' or 'My Dinner with Target' as would-be writers slug it out for publicity and an agent's attention.

Can the lad write a cogent sentence? Go on with you, as if that would matter. Mr. Skyler Bartels, a product of Nebraska's writing colony, is on his way, while you're searching the local mall for the best place to make camp for your personal publicity campaign. Super size me, indeed.

1 comment:

O hAnnrachainn said...

Before you get your hopes too high, keep in mind that agents don't have time to search through blogs - they have enough to do with our queries and partials. Good luck to you all the same.