Friday, March 10, 2006

Tearstains On His Pillow

Poor, poor Mr. Dubay, the victim of vile treachery. So trusting, and now, so betrayed.

It's not fair at all, at all. Now, if he had only paid more attention to his biology classes, but it's too late. He's learned the lesson. And he doesn't like it. But he can't change it.

When in the name of God did sex have anything to do with procreation, he might ask. It's all for fun, like drinking a pint when a man's thirsty. He was merely recreating, and he trusted his female conquest when she said she was using contraceptives. (Quiet there, ladies, I hear you snickering. What man hasn't used a similar line, about being careful and you won't be up the stick?) The unfortunate Mr. Dubay could have worn a hat, but condoms dull the experience, and it's all about his pleasure after all. He was duped, and now he's supposed to pay.

Human biology is a sly and devilish thing. First, the human will preserve itself, and so Mr. Dubay was no doubt eating when hungry and drinking when thirsty, washing his hands to avoid infections and so on. After the human has taken care of self-preservation, however, it's time to preserve the species, and that's where the problem lies. For years, thanks to contraceptives, the link between sex and pregnancy has been altered, and a man can easily forget his biology lessons when the drive to preserve the species takes hold.

Life is not fair. Some people have long legs and can slam dunk. Some are short and uncoordinated. Women can have babies. Men cannot. A lawyer, a judge, a court cannot re-write the laws of biology to correct the basic inequality.

As for trusting his partner to handle birth control, has Mr. Dubay ever heard the adage, 'If you want it done right, do it yourself'? Hope you had a grand time making the baby, lad. Now it's your responsibility to look after it.

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