Free Gift Without Purchase

Generous man, that Al Zuckerman of Writers House. Not only did he send me a form rejection for my query, but he graciously included a tri-folded, glossy printed brochure to purchase his book. He's a prince among literary agents, to give me the opportunity to buy his tome for only twenty dollars, and it's hardcover I'll have you know.

Now, for twenty dollars, it's cash or check only. No credit card transactions allowed, not for such a reasonable price. And send the money directly to Writers House. Can we assume that they get a cut of the action?

One of Mr. Zuckerman's clients, Ken Follett, has written the blurb in the brochure, praising his agent for helping him to craft marketable work. Unfortunate Mr. Follett, being British, was making all sorts of mistakes, writing things suitable for the U.K. that were not American enough to be published across the pond. That is, until Mr. Zuckerman took the lad under his wing and the rest is literary history.

How could a budding author not wish to purchase such a reference manual? Even Nora Roberts, who's no slouch in the writing world, is quoted on the back side of the mailing, lauding Mr. Zuckerman's written advice. As an advert, it's brilliant.

Just the same, I'll pass, alas. According to his biography, Mr. Zuckerman published two novels, and won a drama award in 1964. Sort of implies that he knows the market of forty years gone. Not only that, but he must be knowledgeable in the self-publishing market. Don't the vanity presses encourage their victims to send out mailings? Mr. Zuckerman's done them one better - he's sending out ads and the postage is paid by the recipient, his target audience. Brilliant man - but not the type I'd like for an agent. Besides, he looks like the sleazy milkman on Father Ted.