Cop On

There's a new literary agency out there - and I know all about it because they contacted me. I keep a page on Publisher's Marketplace, although I don't know why because there's nothing on it except name and e-mail addy, which must be how they found me. But I digress.

This exciting new start-up is located in the heart of the publishing industry. Or at least that part of the industry that is centered on Clinton, Indiana. Ah, now, and since when did physical location matter? Internet access, phone, fax, why, New York is as close as the computer these days. And I'm sure that Clinton, Indiana is a fine town. They have post office boxes there, and that means something.

"We have had to cut and edit our own stories,and in the end,when we have taken the stubborn scene that we know needs to be there to add the depth the story needs and finally decide to discard it, we appreciate the tough decisions necessary to raise our work from good, to better, to great, to a published final text."

That's truly inspirational, that is. Most of the message seems to have something to do with editing, which is not what I want from a literary agent. What a new agent must have are contacts in the publishing world. They could be former editors, they could be junior agents from established firms going out on their own, but a literary agent has to be connected to the publishing world.

And what of our friend Mark Straley? Let's see here.

"It is my belief that only writers can help other writers perfect their art,and this belief has led me to the personnel in this agency. The editors of this agency, our first readers, and yes, the founder too, are all writers."

Lovely, there, Mark, but, em, are they published writers? Oh, and, about the agency's editors. I've been searching for a literary agent for a while, and agencies have literary agents on staff, not editors. I apologize if I'm misunderstanding your company's mission. Are you a literary agency? Or are you a paid editing service?

"Writers in the Sky Literary Agency comply with The Association of Writers’ Representatives, Cannon of Ethics."

Fire away with that cannon, Mark, and blow away the literary world. But, just who are the Association of Writers' Representatives? I've heard of the Association of Authors' Representatives, and they're quite the legitimate group. Does your writers' representatives association have any links with the National Rifle Association? Just wondering about that cannon, you see. Does a client of Writers in the Sky have to carry a firearm owner's identification card?

There are some who will take the more positive approach and label Mr. Straley a well-meaning but clueless man who will ultimately fail and take his gullible, desperate writers with him. Then there are others, who laugh at the latest incarnation of the literary agency scam. We're convinced that he'll fleece the unsuspecting with his so-called editing services, and whether he tries to submit manuscripts to publishing houses or not, his clients will never get published by a legitimate house. Sorry, but a vanity press does not count as a publishing credit.

Looking for an agent? You've been warned, so cop on and steer clear of the scamming sharks that are swimming in the waters. They smell unpublished writers' blood.