Temper Tantrums

Can you hear all that noise? The sound of hands wringing all over Dublin is near deafening. The poor sad Afghani lads are off their food, holed up in St. Patrick's Cathedral and threatening to starve themselves to death unless they are given permission to remain in Ireland.

There's a war going on in Afghanistan, don't you know, and it's too dangerous for them to be there. They charged into St. Pat's, making claims that they were about to be deported to that dreadful place, and promptly started a hunger strike. You'd think it was the end of the world to hear some people wailing and moaning over the poor wee lads. So unfair, Mr. Minister, surely you can make an exception and let them stay.

Well, there is the one who's already gone through the process and been granted refugee status. He's in no danger of being deported, but he's supporting his fellows, yes indeed, and he's starving to death right alongside the others. And the bunch that only just applied, there's no decision made yet, but just in case the government had a notion to deport them, well, watch out, now. All right, so there's not one of them slated to be deported. Better to be prepared for the worst, and they're protesting now in anticipation of a negative outcome later.

Then there's the man who just happens to be a nephew of a former Taliban cabinet minister, and if ever there was someone who would be lynched when he got home, it's him. By all means, he should be allowed to stay. Look at how kind Argentina was, all those years ago, to take in those Nazi refugees who would have been tried and possibly hanged at Nuremberg. Surely the Irish could be as hospitable.

There are reports that they've pulled the gold braid off the chairs and fashioned ropes, which they claim they will use to hang themselves if the gardai try to boot them out of the cathedral. Steady on there, Rosanna Flynn of Residents Against Racism. She's all worked up, the poor woman, because some of the lads have put those nooses around their necks and she fears that they're going to use them.

And if that doesn't work, they can all hold their breath until they turn blue and then the world will be sorry. You don't want to eat? Then don't. You don't like the process that all immigrants have to go through to get refugee status? Life's a bitch, isn't it? There's an element in society that is naive, trusting and driven to show charity to all, and the Afghanis are playing on those emotions while playing those people for idiots. There's another segment of society that is cynical, and they're hoping that the fools tie that upholstery cord around their necks and jump off the choir loft.

Whatever the lads decide, they'd best keep in mind that the World Cup is starting soon, well before they're likely to starve to death. What's the point of making a statement if everyone is watching football?