Monday, May 29, 2006

Pornographers Wanted

Being a member of a writing forum, I get spammed from time to time, and I always know where the spammer got my addy because I keep hotmail accounts for each site. Writers Net is the source of this newest offer, a mass e-mail to writers by an e-book publisher.

Not just any ordinary e-book publisher, mind you. No indeed, the publisher has seen my name on Writers Net and just knows that I have the stuff to get e-published. Never mind about the Irish name and the assumption that the bearer of said appellation might be Roman Catholic and a bit on the conservative side. After all, Fr. Michael Cleary and Bishop Eamonn Casey were preaching about morality while shagging the housekeeper and the American divorcee, so who's to say what an Irish Catholic might think or say or do. Why, writing pornography just might be in the picture.

Charlene Keel needs me, or at any rate she needs my perverted mind to craft porno for her site. Someone as illustrious as a former editor for Playgirl magazine has invited me to submit a work of literary filth, sweaty graphic sex for the ladies. Considering how steamy the average Harlequin romance has become, I'd be better off peddling my potential pornographic tome to a royalty paying publisher, rather than download the trash to Ms. Keel's site. There's a better chance to get paid if I take the heaving bosoms and throbbing members to Harlequin.

Thanks a million for the invitation, Charlene, but alas, I must pass. Porn isn't my cuppa tea. Not right for my list. Too many projects in train to take on another. Insert more pat rejection phrases here.

No comments: