Friday, May 05, 2006

Celebrity Gossip

The name of Mr. T, B-list celebrity, is a name that lives in infamy in Chicago's posh northern suburbs. With the piles of cash he garnered as a television star, your man did what any up and coming Chicagoan would do - he moved to Lake Forest. Once upon a time, it was the town of choice for the meat-packing Armours and Swifts, the mercantile barons of Carson, Pirie, Scott & Co., and everyone knows that F. Scott Fitzgerald's Daisy was patterned on a Lake Forest society debutante.

Once he moved in, though, Mr. T broke some cardinal rules. Yes, he did indeed cut down every tree on his five acres, leaving a gaping hole in the canopy that once spread solidly up the street. The neighbors hated him. New laws were passed, barring tree removal at will.

Sadly, Mr. T was not as financially astute as one would need to be to maintain the Lake Forest lifestyle. As his bank account thinned, the house was sold, and everyone cheered. Ah, but surely the place was cursed now, because the couple that bought it, after promising to restore the elegant mansion to its former Arts and Crafts glory, promptly divorced.

A new developer came forward, tarting up the place and then offering it for sale. The price is no doubt astronomical, but this is Lake Forest after all, dear. Who will buy such a pricey property? The house is well off the road, perched in the middle of its vast open prairie, in a place that values privacy.

Who, you ask, who would be rumored to be seeking such a grand kip? What famous actor hails from Lake Forest? Need another clue? He's linked with a certain actress whose husband dumped her for a certain whacky actress who is fond of Africa.

Yes, you've got it. The latest celebrity rumor has Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn buying up Mr. T's former home, an enormous mansion in toney Lake Forest. Close to town and shops, only steps from the Catholic Church, excellent school system. Location, location, location!

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