NSA Calling

Good morning, Mr. O hAnnrachainn. You don't seem to be making any calls from your land line.

Ah, no, sorry. I've got the mobile, you see, and with the competition, the deals are too good to pass up. No roaming charges, no extra fee for the long distance. I could call anywhere in the world with the mobile.

Like Tehran? The West Bank? Moscow?

Why would I call there? I don't know anyone east of Dublin. There's the brothers in California, if the call were to be routed to Europe and then across China I suppose my signal might be going east, but I don't know anything about the technicalities. Oh, yes, and e-mail. I do e-mail them often. Share a laugh, forward a joke, the usual banter.

But no calls on the land line?

Does anyone use that telephone attached to the wall by a wire? If I had to call the police or the firemen, of course. Although some people are using voice over internet protocol, and that really annoys the public servants. They say they can't use their caller I.D. to get a fix on the address, and if you're in the middle of a heart attack and can't speak, well, isn't everyone in a muddle then?

If you could see your way to using your land line? We're trying to compile statistics and it's terribly difficult if people aren't making calls.

But you've got all those poor people who can't afford a mobile - they'll be using the land line. And old people. The grannies like to call people; they're much more sociable, and they don't seem to like modern technology. Ah, yes, I see. The data gets skewed when the sample isn't random. It's all pretty meaningless then, unless the terrorists you're looking for are poor or old or just technologically challenged.

Thank you for your time.

You're very welcome indeed. Before you go, though, if I could ask a question. I thought I read somewhere that the CIA was rumbled over in Milan when they lifted that Muslim fella. Something about the SIM cards in their cell phones giving away their location. Have you lads thought about looking into that to help trace your terrorists?

Have a good day, sir.