St. Paddy on the Web

If you've grown weary of green beer and plastic 'Paddy', corned beef served on rye bread, and Tommy Makem's crooning, there's another way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, courtesy of the Internet.

No need to go to Dublin. As a matter of fact, the Irish celebrate the day by getting out of town, which is overrun with American tourists getting pissed. Even An Taoiseach Bertie Ahern heads for Washington, D.C., to be entertained at the White House. So, stay put yourself and take advantage of the World Wide Web to bring those perfect touches of Ireland to your American home.

A good place to start is with a hearty meal, and Food Ireland can ship the essentials to your door. Corned beef, it turns out, is not the traditional dish. While we cannot import meat and meat products, we can purchase American-made copies of boiling bacon or Irish-style ham, which is as close to the real thing as you can get. Boil up some spuds and a head of cabbage, and you've got a dish of boiled cabbage and bacon, which is pure pub food. Looking to go a step further? You can order a gift basket with everything you need to make a full Irish fry in your own kitchen, from rashers to soda bread and genuine Irish tea. Try not to think about the key ingredient in the black pudding and you'll be fine.

To set the mood, you will need the right sounds, and the easiest way to pretend that you are in a cottage in the West of Ireland is to click on RTE,Ireland’s public service radio site. Four different stations are carried on a live stream, including a channel that broadcasts exclusively in the Irish language. RTE’s Radio One has a varied assortment of news, talk, music and sports. Should the evening drag on, you can tune in to Des Cahill and his sports call-in show, to drive your guests away with the inanity of Chicago’s 670 The Score wrapped up in a thick brogue.

Prefer music playing in the background? You can find a wide selection at Irish Music Mail,
the order site for a music shop in Bray, County Wicklow, and they will ship to your door via An Post. Should your tastes run from traditional to rock, you might like to try the new release from The Saw Doctors, based in County Galway. Their newest album has just been issued in the U.S., and if you haven’t had enough Irish-ness after March 17, they will be performing at The Vic in Chicago on the 18th. In the event that you reach the end of the evening, the Guinness gone and not a bottle of Harp’s in sight, you can wind down to the soothing sound of Pierce Turner, the legend of Wexford who has a cult following in New York City. Blending folk, jazz and rock with an Irish choir boy twist, his latest album The Boy To Be With is just the thing to close out the day.

On the folk scene, Christy Moore has been around for thirty years, the grand old man of Irish protest songs in the vein of Bob Dylan during the Sixties. Most famous for starting the traditional-rock blend that gave rise to the likes of The Pogues and U2, he continues to record and rail against the Iraq War, George Bush, and injustice in general. Agree or disagree with Moore’s politics, he has a rich voice that carries the smell of a peat fire and the heat of strong whiskey.

Need more atmosphere? The Irish Times is available by subscription on line atThe Irish Timesfor terms ranging from a full year to twenty-four hours. While feasting on boiled cabbage and bacon, you could amaze your guests with your knowledge of current events, Irish-style. With facts at your fingertips, you can open a discussion about devolution in the North, and encourage your dinner guests to debate the merits of Sinn Fein in coalition with Fianna Fail. If Des Cahill’s sports talk did not clear the room, they will get the hint and flee, leaving you to a wee drop in peace, with Pierce Turner crooning on the stereo.