Friday, April 28, 2006

If You Build It...

Front page news in the Irish Times today - a product long awaited may soon be available.

Yes, form a line, gentlemen, take a number, the demand will surely be great. Haven't we all been begging the medical researchers for a male contraceptive? The good news has come from Dr. Peter Liu of the prestigious Anzac Research Institute, located at the University of Sydney. That's Sydney down under, where the quest for artificial male contraception has been pursued with vigor.

I know that you've all been concerned about your fertility and what happens to it if you tamper with nature. That's the beauty of Dr. Liu's discoveries. After three or four months, your swimmers are back to full strength, ready for a fallopian marathon. According to the report, this is the true breakthrough in male contraception research, finding a drug that won't cause permanent damage.

One shot and you're good for ... doesn't say how long it lasts. And that shot business, you'd have to see a doctor for the injection, and that would mean making an appointment. Of course, you could just turn up at A & E but the wait would be hours and you'd not be in the mood by then and why bother with contraception when you're exhausted from the waiting?

Still another problem to work out, Dr. Liu. Getting men to use your invention. I'd recommend a home-injection kit, and market it to women. After all, they're the ones most interested in avoiding pregnancy. Unless you could come up with a powder or something that could be dispensed at the local.

"These findings thereby increase the promise of new contraceptive drugs allowing men to share more fairly the satisfaction and burden of family planning," Dr Liu said.


You're a brilliant scientist, Dr. Liu, but you can't honestly believe that men are demanding to fairly share any burden. Now, there was a man a few weeks back, who claimed his partner tricked him into a pregnancy. I'll bet he'd be your first customer. Yes, it's all in the marketing, finding the right niche. Who's first in line, now, lads?

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