And having a top laugh here. David Black Literary Agency is having the slag with me, but it's all for fun.
When the tri-fold SASE turned up in today's mail, I knew another query was getting rejected, but after so many I don't flinch. As I opened the envelope, though, I noticed the stamp was not one I had used recently. Thanks to the USPS, I've had access to a variety of styles that give me a clue to who's getting back to me.
Sure enough, it was a .37 stamp, and my local post office has kindly passed them along to me without asking for the extra two cents. Well, I knew that the query it came from must have been sent months ago, before I learned of the rate increase.
The form letter must have been through about fifty Xerox sessions, so pale was the ink. Like all form letters, there was no mention of the manuscript title, so how could I know what was rejected?
My log sheet only details the outstanding queries that have a chance of being answered, usually no more than eight to ten weeks old. Nothing on the list from Mr. Black's firm, as expected. I'm sure I started putting extra postage on SASEs in December of last year. Time to turn to the spreadsheet, the master list of every query ever sent.
At last, after a bit of a search, I found that I had sent the query to Leigh Ann Eliseo on October 1. Today being April 1, that's five months ago. Jesus Christ, five months to open an envelope and send back a form rejection?
I checked Agent Query, and Ms. Eliseo is still listed on the staff of David Black Literary, although her listing now says she's not taking queries. Considering my track record in driving literary agents into hiding, I'm thinking that I might have done it again, and it took the poor woman five months to recover enough to send the rejection.
Then I thought, no, it can't be. Why, it's April Fool's Day, and she's having a bit of fun. Making me chase around, trying to figure out why this letter showed up in the mail after I'd long forgotten the query. It's a tough job, being an agent, and there's probably not much jollity amidst all the rejections. Always up for the messing, those hard-working agents.