Saturday, July 19, 2008

Your Travel Guide To Limerick

----------Lovely views of the River Shannon
--------Savory Irish cuisine
------Contemporary rooms done up in warm tones
---Brazilian prostitutes

All that and more is yours for the asking at the Hilton Limerick Hotel.

The staff is courteous and extremely attentive. They couldn't help but notice that Gercilene De Silva and Anna Lucia Sandoval had an inordinately enormous number of gentlemen callers to their room, and all that in the course of only three days.

Escort services like to provide their clients with the finest, and a room at the Hilton Limerick Hotel became the base of operations for the two ladies. Clients needed only to visit an Internet website, which listed their contact numbers. Like a well-organized site, there were answers to some Frequently Asked Questions. A man needs to know where he's to park his car since he can't very well park in the hotel parking lot when he's not exactly a paying guest.

Upon searching the room, gardai discovered some mobile phones, the appointment register and the retail price list, along with enough condoms to supply half the island for a month. The ladies only had EU1000 on them, but they were lifted early in the day, before the most profitable part of the evening.

They're lovely girls, or so their defense solicitor suggested in court. Never been arrested for this sort of thing before, only just arrived from Spain by way of Brazil, looking to Ireland as the place to make their fortunes.

Judge Tom O'Donnell returned half the cash, so that the ladies could board the next flight to Spain. The state keeps the remainder, along with the phones and the paperwork.

For the record, you can rest assured that the Hilton Hotel corporation doesn't particularly care to be known as the finest brothel in Limerick, or anywhere else for that matter.

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