Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Alderman And Theater Director

Chicago alderman Ed Smith has donned another cap and taken over as director of the hit musical, "The Jersey Boys."

There is no smoking in public buildings, ever, in the city of Chicago. Not ever.

The problem is, theater directors have a habit of utilizing props that fit the era of the play they are directing, so Mr. Smith had no choice but to take over the production of "The Jersey Boys." Such authenticity has no place in Chicago, not when Alderman Smith is in charge of everyone's health and well-being. You're too feckin' stupid to mind your own self, so he's doing it for you.

If you have seen the show in New York, and then see it in Chicago, you might notice the long gaps that once were filled with actors on stage, puffing away. In keeping with the new ordinance, Mr. Smith has re-worked the stage directions so that the actors now go outside, like everyone else must do, to have a smoke.

Although it makes for odd gaps and slows the performance, Mr. Smith feels that his new version not only holds to his beloved ordinance, but reinforces the spirit of the law. Foolish actors, who will do just about anything to be true to the character they portray, no longer have to be exposed to smoke just because Frankie Valle and his crew indulged in tobacco. Audience members no longer are exposed to the possibility of a minute trace of second-hand smoke.

And once again, Chicago comes across as ridiculous and small-minded, the unsophisticated rube who can boast of the nation's highest sales taxes and pettiness on a mind-bogling scale.


Aeneas said...

Rubes in Chicago? The city who gave us the ultimate sophisticate, that erudite in every subject, who is so embarassed by us, red neck bitter people? He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken by the great unwashed. Oh, wait... that's Hawaii. Or... is it Kansas? Harvard?

You mean, vous ne parlez pas Francais en Chicago, la ville des ventes forts? Gasp!

And speaking of gasp--I got an answer from Tracy Brown. "--quite intriguing and well written, but in the difficult market for fiction, etc. etc. etc." Then I made him an offer he could not refuse. And he refused. ***rolls eyes***

Merci beaucoup.

O hAnnrachainn said...

Maybe you needed a chain-smoking character, being oppressed by the anti-cigarette crowd.

The sad thing is, the market for fiction is tight, and when I go to the library to get something to read, I still can't find anything worth borrowing.

Aeneas said...

I waiting for smoking and snorting to become 'progressive.'


I have relegated (right word? I ain't going to the dictionary for this one.) myself to reading exclusively science fiction. I just can't stand another one of those Oprah club books. If it sends tingles up the leg of New York, I ain't reading it.

I've read some really, really good scifi books--small books (in the sense they didn't make the megabuck world), great reading, and a lot more thought provoking than the writing we are told it would provoke our otherwise sluggish, uneducated, bitter and clinging (do I have an issue with that? Nuh... I just adore passing it over my tongue, like licorice...)intellect.

Let's write a vampire book! Ooooooh, I have an idea. Can you guess? mwahahahaha.

BTW, I am half Transylvanian (yes, such a thing exists), so that could be my platform, right? Based on real experience. ***sharpening fangs and unfolding bat wings***

O hAnnrachainn said...

I've never liked sci fi, but I find that read the classics when there's nothing new that appeals.

If it's recommended by Oprah, I'll pick it up to study the market and see what's selling, but it's not reading for pleasure when you're doing homework.

A sci-fi vampire time-traveller, written by a native Transylvanian. I think you're on to something.