Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Up A Pole

Unfortunately, Judge William Harnett is overbooked these days. Can't get around to Garvan Lynch's pressing matter. Sorry to report, ladies and gentlemen, that there'll be no pole or lap-dancing in Kilkenny this Christmas.

Mr. Lynch, representing Whispers Entertainment Ltd., was in court to get his pole-dancing club a license in the face of local objections. The city council wouldn't give him his license, and the gardai were not keen on his premises being opened.

Look at our fine establishment in Waterford city, Mr. Lynch said, and haven't we been well under the radar? Not a single problem to bring us to the attention of the local Garda. We provide employment for dancers from Ireland, oh, and the European Union as well which is why all the dancers speak with Slavic accents if they speak English at all. The dancers dance, they collect their tips and give us our cut and everyone's happy.

There's to be men as well as women dancing, to provide entertainment for the ladies at their hen parties. So clearly it's not to be a gentleman's club exclusively and don't female clients lend an air of civility to a place?

Garda Superintendent Mangan, no doubt bristling at the idea of a man in a garda uniform taking it off to the hoots of raucous women, has said that this sort of thing creates ripples in the public order. No matter that the dancers are self-employed and Mr. Lynch provides nothing more than a pole and a furnished room with beverages. This sort of activity is not in keeping with the tenets of a basic pub license and Whispers Entertainment isn't running any sort of pub at all, at all.

As much as Mr. Lynch would like to get the girls up the pole by Christmas, it cannot be. Judge Harnett needs more time to review everyone's positions and he won't take up the matter again until January 8th.

Ireland is still Ireland in some parts.

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