An Unexpected Critique

There are a few literary agents out there who ask for some sample pages with the query. Stuff them in an envelope, paste them at the bottom of an e-query, just send along a taste of the manuscript and they'll forgive a weak query letter if the novel is well-written.

You'd never expect much more than a rejection or a request for the first three chapters. Either the agent likes what you've written or they don't and that's that.

Much to my surprise, I received a rejection in response to an e-query, but the agent took the trouble to explain what she didn't like about the opening pages.

Clearly she read the whole sample and gave it a bit of thought. Paid a compliment to the skill of the author (ah, go on it was nothing really) and mentioned what she found intriguing about the opening of the novel.

Her problem was with the main character not being sympathetic to the audience. The reader wants someone to cheer for, to find commonalities with, and while that might happen beyond page five, she'd like to see it sooner.

Easy enough to shift things around, to cut out a few sentences that tend to repeat one important characteristic of the protagonist. Bring forward the character's weak point, the vulnerability that will appeal to a reader, and the beginning will shine with uncommon brilliance.

Now, should I do all that, the literary agent did make mention of the fact that she's very busy, swamped with existing clients, etc., etc. In other words, go ahead and do a re-write, but don't send it back.

Sometimes the writing can be flawless, but the agent just isn't interested in the story that's being told.