Thursday, May 29, 2008

They Don't Know How Lucky They Are

Publicity is doing its dirty work, as the buzz over the new Sex and the City film has some women chattering. Can't wait to go see it, they say, to study the fashions and all those shoes.

Men, on the other hand, are facing a truly horrific choice. Go with the partner and sit through over two hours of sheer torture, or live with the dire consequences. Some men, however, are surely blessed by God.

Thanks to an ongoing dispute between the Ward Anderson cinema chain and Entertainment Film Distributors, the movie will not be seen in any Ward Anderson facility. That means that a clever man will offer to take his lady to the Savoy on Dublin's O'Connell Street, and then pretend to be dismayed that the film is not opening there after all.

To create a truly complex ruse, one need only suggest a weekend in Killarney or Tralee, where once again there will be no cinematic women on the prowl for men in New York City at a Ward Anderson venue.

The key to saving your brain from the torment is to avoid any towns that feature UCI cinemas. This distributor has laid in extra seats at several venues, planning to cash in on the demand by women who dream of outlandish apparel and a closet stacked with shoes when they've only the two feet to be shod.

For those who aren't lucky enough to live where the film won't be screened, you have to wonder....how many men are going to fall ill on Friday or Saturday night, about an hour or two before show time?

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