The query letter has been tweaked beyond recognition, all in an attempt to craft a beguiling hook and a synopsis that will leave a literary agent asking for more.
All the other query letters before it have failed to garner much of a response from agents, beyond the occasional rejection. By and large, it's been silence at the e-query end, and even the SASE has failed to come home to roost.
Why not take a chance? Agent Janet Reid at Fineprint Literary is running a new blog in which she analyzes query letters in her own unique and snarky way. She's looking for material, so what's the harm in offering up this new query for a professional take?
After a week, there have been other queries examined. Not mine. Of course.
What I put together follows the standard protocol. The hook may not be irresistible, but it's average. The plot description may not be perfect, but it's adequate. It's ordinary. The query is not so dreadful that Ms. Reid could craft a delightful blog post, but it's not a good example either.
Christina Hogrebe at Jane Rotrosen's agency is accepting queries again. Perhaps she won't find the letter quite so average and ordinary. All I can do is try.