With A Side Of Hubris

Food in Ireland is not what it once was, which was dreadful. There are fine dining establishments in Dublin, places where an excellent meal can be had and a certain special someone lavishly entertained. There's even places to dine where the manager will take your money and heap abuse upon you.

Robert Kennedy wished to impress his significant other on her birthday and what better place than Shanahan's on the Green. No word on what the couple ate, but the tab at the end of the evening worked out to 300 euros. Not likely to have been a plate of boiled bacon and cabbage with a side of pratai at those prices.

This being the modern era, Mr. Kennedy whipped out his credit card and a gift certificate that had been given to him by his sister. Sounds quite straightforward, a simple transaction, but the attractive young couple had not even made it out the door before the restaurant's manager called them back.

This isn't your gift certificate, the manager informed Mr. Kennedy, in full range of numerous ears. Bad enough to be humiliated in front of your sweetheart, but to know that a gaggle of strangers are listening in makes things that much worse. No indeed, the manager continued, this particular certificate was lost in the post and was cancelled. How you came into its possession, Mr. Kennedy, one cannot imagine. Unless you are a thief, the other patrons could readily surmise.

Christ, here's my credit card again, Mr. Kennedy may have said under his breath, feeling the hot flames of embarrassment singing his neck hairs. But while the transaction was being amended, the gentleman noticed that the gift certificate ledger showed that his sister had indeed purchased the gift certificate, and the number in the book matched perfectly with the number on Mr. Kennedy's certificate.

My bad, says the manager, and he credits Mr. Kennedy's card and restores the certificate's value and everything's lovely now, isn't it, terribly sorry, thanks for dining at Shanahan's, good evening. Will another gift certificate for 150 euros make things all better?

Shanahan's has been ordered to pay Mr. Kennedy 5000 euros for slander. That should be enough to treat his lady friend to a few meals at Gordon Ramsey's soon-to-be-launched Dublin digs.