What Would God Read?

God told Richard Roberts, the son of televangelist Oral Roberts, that it's the lawyers out to get Him. God spoke to Richard and said, Go, my son, and donate to political campaigns and remodel your home so that it's utterly lavish. Then pray for the lawyers who try to bring down God's own university. Throw in a sacred word or two for the university professors you had to fire, the ones who blew the whistle on the spending.

Mrs. Roberts is said to be overly fond of fine apparel, but is that such a sin? Can't expect anyone to wander the earth in sackcloth and ashes these days, even if such an outfit was described in the Bible. Speaking of the Bible, there's not a word in there that bans text messaging, is there? So why has Mrs. Roberts' obsession with sending texts to young boys become such a scandal? You'd think there was some eleventh commandment, Thou Shalt Not Text Minors, or something along those lines.

Since God speaks directly to the Roberts clan, it is highly presumptuous of their followers to question Richard as to what happens to the money they have donated. If the university wants to send a Roberts daughter to the Bahamas, why not? She's spreading the word of the Lord, isn't she, along with several friends, to the tune of $29,411.

Oral Roberts claimed that God spoke to him while he was reading a spy novel, and from that arose the Oral Roberts ministry. Being omnipotent, God would of course know that spies drive fancy cars, and would have approved of Mrs. Roberts' white Lexus and red Mercedes convertible, all paid for by donors to the Oral Roberts University. Anyone who's driven a Lexus knows that it inspires prayers. Thank God I can afford a luxury car, the driver of a Lexus will say as they motor along. You'd not hear the same from the lips of the person behind the wheel of a rust bucket.

God reads other books besides spy novels, of course, and He's said to have ghostwritten a phenomenal best seller. Pity that Richard Roberts hasn't read that one. He might have been inspired in his ministry by a passage from the Gospel according to St. Luke. Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy, it says. For there is nothing covered that shall not be revealed; neither hid that shall not be known -- all of which has nothing to do with our litigious society or lawyers.