Monday, April 09, 2007

Time To Make The Donuts

True or false, all the Dunkin' Donuts franchises in Chicago are owned by East Asians.

If you answered true, you are the winner in today's political grab bag contest. Your prize? The opportunity to feed at the public trough, and Patti Blagojevich will handle all of your real estate needs.

Amrit Patel is the king of donuts in this part of the world, and when Krispie Kreme was sinking like greasy lead weights, he decided that the time had come to bring his Dunkin' Donuts franchises to the Illinois tollway oases. Thousands travel the Tri-State, the Reagan, the Northwest, etc. etc., and many of them will get hungry for a donut and thirsty for a caffeine buzz. There's money to be made at the tollway oasis, and Mr. Patel wanted to be the money maker.

How to acquire such a prime location? Start by hosting a fundraiser for the man who would be king...excuse me, governor. Although he acts like a king. Just ask anyone who lives near him and who would like to be able to park their car near their condo. What, you thought that the governor of Illinois would live in the state capital, in Springfield? Ah go on with you.

Fundraising's done, so what next to seal the deal? Buy some property. Any property will do, as long as Mrs. Blagojevich, the First Lady of Illinois, gets the 6% commission. Mr. Patel managed to pay out over $30,000 in commissions to herself, although the Boy Governor gets testy if his wife's work is questioned. And Mr. Patel made sure that his little girl's name appeared on the contracts, so that he could distance himself from the dirty deals.

This particular revelation is sort of a part two of a series. Not too long ago, it was revealed that one of Mr. Patel's cronies, Amrish Mahajan, was also linked in a pay-to-play scheme that has resulted in the arrest of Mrs. Mahajan. She was charged with defrauding the state, billing Illinois taxpayers for drug tests that were never done. Mrs. Blagojevich garnered a nice piece of change from the Mahajans as well. Never knew there was such a demand for real estate amongst the East Asians, but what better investment than land?

The Federal prosecutor is breathing heavily down Rod Blagojevich's neck, and pundits are laying odds on the date when the governor will finally be indicted. In Chicago, the Federal prosecutor is getting mighty close to Mayor Richard Daley, attempting to root out corruption that costs the taxpayers plenty. In the corridors of power, there are many who would very much like Patrick Fitzgerald gone.

In Washington, the long knives are out for Roberto Gonzalez, with both sides of the aisle crying out for his resignation. Illinois Senator Dick Durbin has voiced his opinion, that the Attorney General should resign. Once Gonzalez is out, who should be tapped to step into his shoes? Whose change of appointment would take the heat off of the donut makers in Chicago? Whose removal could make it easier to buy real estate in Illinois and funnel even more cash into the Blagojevich accounts? Who has been so successful at catching the rats that scurry through the halls of power in Chicago and Springfield, and who is trying to lay traps to catch some even bigger rats who don't much want to be caught?

Odds on favorite? None other than Patrick Fitzgerald.

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