Timing Is Everything

A famous bank robber once remarked that he robbed banks because that's where the money is. Hard to counter that sort of logic, and the fact that banks are so often robbed is a testament to one man's wisdom.

Surely it can't be an easy thing, to stroll up to the teller and pass a threatening note. The banks don't like being burgled, and it takes a good deal of planning to find ways around the security systems and such. If I were to ever write something with a bank robbing character, I would have to do an awful lot of research to pen some believable prose. I can't even begin to imagine how one goes about the whole robbery business, but clearly the average bank robber is no genius so how hard could it be?

Take, for example, the duo who walked into the Loughrea branch of the Bank of Ireland. In this day and age, one could rightly assume that they were drug addicts in need of some ready cash to fund their habit, though it's just as likely that they were career criminals whose job was stealing money. At any rate, these gentlemen were armed, which of course gives the average thief a definite leg up on his victims. I'm beginning to understand how to rob a bank, now. One criminal waves a gun under the nose of the teller, getting said teller's undivided attention and cooperation, and then criminal assistant waves a gun about the branch office, gaining the cooperation of the general public. That does sound simple.

There was, however, one slight glitch that no one could ever have anticipated. It seems that Garda Superintendent Enda Walsh was doing his banking at the same time as two armed men were trying to make an illegal withdrawal. Mr. Walsh broke with the tradition of the cowering citizen and tackled one of the robbers, which caused the accomplice to flee. By the powers invested in him, Mr. Walsh arrested the crook and now the gardai are searching Loughrea from one end to the other. When things go wrong, well, it's Murphy's Law right there in that bank.

Not every bank branch office can have a police guard at all times, but there is one thing that would tilt the advantage back to the bank tellers' favor. What if all of the bank employees were armed? If everyone had guns, who would be afraid of the armed robber? A difficult time the criminal would have indeed, with that many weapons pointed at him. Quite a shock to the system for our burglar to look over the shoulder and discover the entire personal banking staff with their M-16's or Uzis or what have you, trained squarely on a point between the quivering shoulder blades. And where might the threatened bank teller be pointing that Glock pistol, there under the counter?

It's difficult to be a criminal these days. You never know when a Garda superintendent might turn up and spoil your plans.