My Kind of Town

Nothing like a little civil disobedience to stir things up. After the brilliant minds of the Chicago City Council got together and banned foie gras, half the country marveled at the inanity. You'd think that the so-called 'Big Box Ordinance' that tries to regulate pay scales would be of greater importance, what with the big boxes like Wal-Mart and Target moving their new stores to the fringe suburbs. But not for the noble aldermen of Chicago, such trivial matters as loss of sales tax revenue.

The 'thou shalt not serve fatty duck or goose liver' commandment came into effect on Tuesday, although the city claims that they won't be doing any enforcing until today. That would explain why so many restaurants who served foie gras were not cited. It's all a bit of deft maneuvering, after all.

There's the reporters, scattered all over the city, their fingers on the pulse of the diner. Dozens of restaurants that normally do not serve foie gras had it on the menu yesterday, just to prove the point that the law, sir, is a ass. Now, what right-thinking cop in his right mind would try to issue a citation with all those reporters sitting around, just waiting for a policeman to issue a citation so they could write it up and mock the whole thing? No, it won't do, so you tell the boys in blue to ease up for the day until the publicity cools off.

Connie's Pizza offered deep dish cheese and foie gras. In other parts of town, you could find foie gras in soul food and Italian cuisine. You wanna ban liver? I got your liver right here, pal.

But how will the ordinance be enforced? There's not enough money in the budget to send police into Charlie Trotter's on a regular basis, searching for lightly seared liver. Much better to wait until someone calls in a complaint, drops a dime on the chef who dares to prepare foie gras. Big Brother is watching you, Tru and Four Seasons. Perhaps the children of every kitchen staff across the city could be instructed to rat out their parents. It worked in Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia, so why not in Chicago?

In the meantime, the suburban restaurants are serving up foie gras. Stop by for dinner, after you've done the shopping at Wal-Mart and Target.