Discrimination Approved

If you were looking for a job at Dotcom Directories, you might be surprised to notice an addition to the advertisement. You would be prepared for any and all requirements to answer phones at the call-in center. Good diction, clear voice, well modulated tones, and a pleasant manner. Would you not be surprised to see that "No smokers need apply", a blatant example of discrimination?

Discriminating against those who light up a fag from time to time - why is that? According to Philip Tobin, the director of the firm with the job openings, smokers are anti-social and they stink. Oh, and they take too much sick leave. And since everyone knows how bad smoking is, and they do it anyway, they must be stupid.

Sound logic for barring the smoker, but why ever stop there? Let's go after the obese. Now if there's a group of potential employees that take a lot of sick leave, it's the obese. And the bacteria lurking in the folds of fat! You're talking rank odor by the end of the day, and there's the fact that they take up more room than the rest of us. Clearly that's not fair, that they get a seat and a half while we must settle for one.

Look at the health outlook. The obese will develop high blood pressure and Type II diabetes, and we're all paying for the extra load on health care costs because of them. Why should we have to put up with that? If the EU says it's all right to refuse a job to a smoker because they take so much sick leave, why not refuse to employee the obese who make medical costs higher for the rest of us? That's antisocial behavior right there, driving up insurance fees.

If a smoker can quit puffing, then an obese person can quit eating. No job until you give up that vice. Why must smokers be the EU's pariah? Why not go after the obese as well? Perhaps for the same reason that you can make a fuss over someone smoking in a restaurant, but God help you if you tear into a four-hundred-pounder for sucking down a thirty-two ounce steak and a five-pound baked potato with butter and sour cream and bacon. But it's all a question of health, isn't it?

Head off to that job interview, speak glowingly of your many skills, and when they ask if you smoke, lie through your teeth. It's not your boss's business, is it, what you do after hours. The EU's such a bastion of human rights. Makes me glad I'm living here in the States.