After You

So genteel! Such manners! And wouldn't it be so, when the very word etiquette is derived from the French. They lead the way, the elegant French, with displays of proper conduct. Even now, they are holding the door for other countries to go first. How terribly polite.

After all the talk, the back and forth and the dickering to craft some sort of agreement, Monsieur Chirac is demonstrating that most Gallic of attitudes. 'No, please, I insist. After you. You go first.' Unfortunately, no one else is willing to enter Lebanon before the Gallic contingent, and so, no one is going in at all.

There was a great deal of talk when it came to the Middle East and Saddam Hussein's refusal to abide by the rules laid out by the UN Security Council. No one wanted to take the first step, perhaps fearing a faux pas, so the burly and rude U.S.A. barged in and did things their own way. Now that the Americans are stretched thin across the Middle East, there is no one left to do the barging, and the unfortunate French, with all their politesse, are left looking the fools.

Diplomats talking is one thing. Generals waging war is quite another. The French generals will not act until the French politicians clarify the mission. Apres vous, monsieur. The French politicians have to look at such disparate items as the danger of not being re-elected, along with the budget to wage war and the cost of annoying all those Muslims in the Parisian ghettos who have already shown a propensity to riot.

In today's New York Times, the reporter ventures into the heartland to get a sense of why American-based Pakistani immigrants aren't turning to radical Islam as they have in other countries. Fear not, there is a pronunciation guide for those new to Chicago, that most exotic locale. Wouldn't want the tourists to turn up asking the way to Devon Avenue and mispronouncing the word. The overall consensus of the Times article seems to suggest that immigrants in Chicago are assimilated, like it or not.

A friend of mine teaches in a high school with a growing Palestinian population. Many of the parents are wholly against assimilation, fighting wildly to keep their offspring Palestinian. And failing miserably, as any American could guess. Issues are dealt with at the administrative level, and the administrator is a woman. The counselors love it when Papa Palestinian foams at the mouth, refusing to deal with a female when males counselors are available. Papa plays the victim card, and the counselors smile warmly. 'Life's a bitch,' they commiserate. 'But you're here in Chicago, darlin', and you'll play by our rules. My heart bleeds for your troubles, but no one gives a flying fuck.'

In America, the Muslim immigrant assimilates because there is little choice. In Europe, the Muslim immigrant is shuttled off to a little ghetto and ignored, left in a limbo between native land and Europe. Would the French be more willing to embark on a mission to Lebanon if they had played rougher with their Muslim immigrants? Or would they continue to demonstrate the epitome of etiquette and insist that someone else go first?