Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Further Proof That Men Are Bastards (As If You Needed Any)

Ladies, you all know that men are driven by testosterone and when it comes to sex the male of the species suddenly loses all higher brain functions and resorts to the most primitive of behaviors.

A bath instead of a ciggie after

You know that, but still you'll walk out of a bar with a man you've just met and not even insist on a hotel room with a comfortable bed.

Next time, don't be so amenable to conditions in the field. You might be having if off on a dangerous site and have to call for help. Because you just know that a man won't stick around after he's done. Or before he's done if things, shall we say, slip.

A couple in Ciudad Real, Spain, were struck by a feeling of mutual lust that required immediate coupling. How romantic, she might have thought, when she found herself draped over an old wooden platform, out in the elements, under the canopy of Spanish stars. Perhaps her partner was particularly handsome, or her beer goggles were fogged over, but at any rate, the couple engaged in a bit of shagging on top of a well.

Yes, the kind with water in the bottom of it.

All the motion of the senor's ocean caused said well cover to shift, which can't be totally unexpected. The cover was designed to keep people from falling in from an upright position, not the missionary position.

The rocking and rolling resulted in the cover slipping to such an extent that the lady fell into the well. You can bet that whatever unmet desire Ms. Edelia Aponte might have had was immediately doused with a cold bath.

Her lover promptly....ran. What are the odds that he was a married man who didn't want to get caught cheating?

If not for a passer-by hearing Ms. Aponte's cries for help, she might have died of hypothermia down there. She was pulled out, and then had to explain to the police how she came to be down the well. It's a good bet that she didn't laud her lover's sexual prowess as she mentioned his abandonment. However, it's not clear if she was able to provde a good description of the bastard, as it was dark and she was surely traumatized at falling, and then being left to fend for herself.

Police are now looking for the man who can be charged with conduct unbecoming a gentleman. They're calling it failure to render aid to one in need, such as a woman fallen down a well. If the man does get named and shamed, he'll be facing a lot worse at home. It looks like a long stretch of celibacy in his future.

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