She Wanted A Chopper To Ride, Not To Actually Chop

Women do most of the shopping so it comes as no surprise that men are not very good at it. They don't know what the women in their lives would like for Christmas, hence the flurry of returns on the 26th of December.

How many husbands thought that some sort of kitchen appliance would make the significant other happy? Especially if she likes to cook, or maybe she mentioned in passing that she remembered her grandmother making french fries, so crispy and delicious. You like fries. What a great idea. Buy her a food chopper and she'd make fries for herself and for you. Everyone wins.

Didn't she say something about a chopper at some point during the year?

If only men would read more than the sports news. They would  know that the chopper she wants doesn't fit in the kitchen. It belongs in the garage.

Yes, it's true. Women want Harleys. They want to ride.

Harley Davidson says so.

The famed manufacturer did a study that showed women want to ride because they enjoy the freedom that comes with trucking down the road, bugs beating against their face. Those who own Harleys are more confident and feel more attractive with that big hog between their legs.

You screwed up this year.

But now you're in the know. You've been informed. For 2014, put that Harley on the top of the Christmas list and you'll end up with a partner who looks good and feels good.

Assuming, of course, that she actually wants to ride a bike with no protection in the event of a crash. Some women are just cautious that way. They like all the air bags and anti-lock brakes. In which case, there's always the Ronco Vegematic.