Monday, December 23, 2013

Let Us All Do Are Part To Fill Our Quota

Those who are in charge of disposing of our holiday debris have informed us that we are going to create an enormous mountain of garbage.

So let's all do our part.

Irish revelers are projected to consume 60 million litres of alcohol over the coming weeks. We'll be in the pubs, drinking. We'll be at home, drinking. We'll be at parties, drinking.

Don't slack off. Do your bit. Have that extra bottle of beer, even though you think you've enough. You wouldn't want to disappoint the folks at Repak, would you?

Recycling firm Repak says we'll dispose of enough empties to span the distance from Dublin to Lapland. Not that you'd need to string them out for a return to use, what with Repak poised to handle the volume. Don't disappoint them this year. They have their staff in place, and if there aren't all that many bottles, there could be redundancies and you wouldn't want to be responsible for someone losing a job at Christmas because you didn't meet your quota.

Drink up, Ireland. Consume enough alcohol to fill twenty-four swimming pools.

St. Stephen's Day is in place so that you can recover from the overindulging. That's why the tradition of hunting wrens started, you know. It was a group of hung-over partiers with pounding skulls who couldn't stand the chirping another minute.

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