Monday, November 05, 2007

The Saver Of Lost Pigs

Show me the pigs. I have come to set them free!

For some unknown reason, the media failed to fully report on the recent arrest of actor Shia LaBeouf. Granted, it was 2:30 in the morning when the security guard fingered the young man, so a few minor details may have been forgotten in the chaos.

Mr. LaBeouf was in the Walgreen's shop on Chicago's Magnificent Mile, and he was arrested for criminal trespass when he refused to leave. The security guard claimed that the actor appeared intoxicated, but anonymous sources (the pixie fairy voices in my head, if you must know) clearly heard Mr. LaBeouf ask about Mrs. Estelle Walgreen's pot-bellied pigs.

With her property in foreclosure and other investments going bad, the fate of the divorcee's pet pigs has been in limbo. Shia LaBeouf was alarmed over the potential fate of the farmyard animals (slabs of bacon and juicy hams) and went to the Walgreen's store to save them. When the clerks failed to help him locate and rescue the endangered swine, he naturally refused to budge. This was life and death for Porky and his family, and Mr. LaBeouf was not about to be pacified.

The 21-year-old actor was reportedly polite following his arrest, but his pleas that the pigs be saved went unheeded by Chicago's finest. He will appear in court on 28 November, at which time he will gain a greater platform for his cause.

Pot-bellied pigs of the Walgreen estate, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

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