Friendship

The South African Development Community had a meeting, and Robert Mugabe was there. He made sure to imprison his leading opponent before he left Zimbabwe for Tanzania, however, as he is no friend of Morgan Tsvangirai and could not well risk taking a vacation with Tsvangirai on the loose.

Inflation in Zimbabwe is running around 1200%, give or take, and the average economist could tell you that it's not a sign of a healthy economy. Who's to blame for the disaster? It's England this time, or the west in general. Mr. Mugabe is most definitely not at fault for turning his country from the bread basket of Africa into a starving skeleton. And when your friends agree with you, well, you can go home with your head held high.

After the meeting was over, and the situation in Zimbabwe was discussed, the fourteen countries that make up the commission issued a statement, calling on the rest of the world to lift sanctions on Mugabe's government. And then they stood solidly behind the honorable thug from Zimbabwe in a show of solidarity with one of their own.

So what if the riot police beat the snot out of the members of Zimbabwe's Movement for Democratic Change. Big deal that the leaders were arrested and thrown into jail for trying to foment democracy in their nation. As for the criticism of other nations over Mugabe's brutal dictatorship, it's all a great huge plot to undermine the efforts of the downtrodden by those who supported the brutal regime of colonial rule; we must fight the British, it's all their doing. Or something like that.

That would be why the meeting ended with a call for Great Britain to compensate the white farmers whose farms were seized and handed to Mugabe's cronies. It's not up to Zimbabwe to pay up for what was taken. And besides, the ungrateful white farmers didn't stick around to teach their new masters how to farm, and now Zimbabwe is facing another famine. But none of that is Mugabe's fault, and his buddies down at the Development Community agree with him.

Jakaya Kikwete of Tanzania has an answer for those who oppose Mugabe's rule. They're to blame for getting arrested, because they use illegal means to protest. So there, all you anti-Mugabe-ites rotting in prison. The Development Community is not about to ask Mugabe to step aside, and he's running for president again.

Where did all those reports of human rights violations get to now? Ah, there they are, swept under the rug. The western nations, they're so critical of African housekeeping. If only they'd mind their own, and just send another aid check.