Conrad's First Pitch

It's opening day here at the Federal courthouse in Chicago, and the sun is coming out from behind those morning clouds. The stands are packed with this sell-out crowd, all hoping for a glimpse of Conrad's first pitch of the trial.

"He's looking nattily attired in a dark suit and colorful tie. That's the mark of a man who knows his business, and he means business today."

Right you are, Nancy, and the missus has donned her business casual uniform as a member of the visiting team. The judge is taking the stand and the lawyers are on the field. Emotions are expected to run high today. You can almost taste the anticipation in the air.

"Tastes like hubris with a dollop of vengeance."

Strong palate you have there, Nancy. Let's get back to the trial. Edward Genson is stepping up the plate. Looks like he's thinking of swinging for the fences on the first pitch. The ball is over the plate and it's....

"Batted it back to Ms. St. Eve. Who would have expected Eddie to request that the jurors be questioned in chambers to see if they've been tainted by news coverage of Hollinger? Well, I've seen a lot of trials in my day, but I never could have predicted this."

Surprising move, Nancy, and we sure didn't see that coming. Well, there you have it. Judge St. Eve is calling the entire jury in for interviews. Looks like a long delay, and there's going to be a steady, drawn out shower of words.

"The judge may have to call the game if this runs up through the lunch break."

Good call again, there, Nancy. An aide to the judge has just announced that the trial has been postponed for the rest of the day. There's some concern on the field that the jury pool would be tainted if the Chicago Tribune got their wish and the names of the jurors were released. Could be a problem if reporters started calling them up and asking questions. Might put a notion or two in someone's head and that could sway the panel. Do you think that a juror might already have been tainted? Certainly, a lot of the applicants had some strong opinions. That character from Boeing, for example. Got cut before he even made the team.

"The judge would like to point out that the delay today is due entirely to a juror having a previous commitment and not being able to attend. No one's talking about a dismissal at this point."

Well, that's a relief. Wouldn't want someone sent down to the minors on opening day. So there you have it. No runs, no hits, no errors. Next up, we've got prosecutor Jeffrey Cramer on the mound Tuesday morning, and this trial is going to open up into a real barn burner.

"Wait, there's a late breaking report. It seems that Barbara Amiel Black just swore at a Canadian news reporter who tried to get into the elevator with Their Lordships. Expect the pundits to make a play on words with that one. Lady Black not acting like a lady. A little too obvious for our fans out here at the courthouse."

Yes, they're not going to take the lowbrow approach, Nancy. And we should all keep in mind that Mrs. Black would recognize a Canadian reporter, considering how often they've played against that team, but wouldn't necessarily know who's who in the British and American press box. We don't want anyone to think that she's discriminating against non-Canadians.

The fans are heading for the exits and it looks like that's about all for today. If you're scoring at home, chalk up one for Mrs. Black and her barnyard epithet. We'll be back tomorrow for another exciting game as the people of the United States take on Conrad Black and his North of the Border crew. So long, and please drive safely.