China, Bastion of Freedom

Name and shame, that's the ticket. The Chinese pot is calling the American kettle black, but isn't funny how that pot is so much blacker that the kettle looks shining?

Beijing is not pleased with this year's State Department human rights report. They've come right back, pointing out how hypocritical the American government is being. Why, look at...yes, look at, um, right.

Start with the war on terror. Just look at how abused the prisoners are in Guantanamo. Please don't look at the fact that they are free to practice their religion, unlike the Roman Catholics who have been driven underground. It's no abuse of human rights to select the priests and bishops who can minister to the faithful, even if it means stepping on the Pope's toes. Will you stop looking at that and concentrate on the terrorists in Cuba?

Washington DC is spying on its citizens. So what if they are connected with terrorist organizations, that's not the point. That spoils the point, actually, so let's move on. What about the Internet? The Americans are monitoring people's computer connections. China just bars access to entire websites, so there's no monitoring going on there. If citizens can't access YouTube and MySpace at all, there's no spying going on so the Americans are the hypocrites and the Chinese are, shall we say, more efficient.

Try to travel into the US and there's all kinds of checks and double-checks and where are you going kinds of questions. Travel into China, and no one asks such things. The government merely assigns someone to follow your every step and listen to every word you say. Clearly, those are two completely different strategies and the American technique is the one that infringes on human rights.

We could compare the prison systems, but it's common knowledge that Chinese courts are swift and a trial never drags on through appeal process after appeal process. A bullet to the back of the head and that's the end of it. Isn't that far more considerate of a prisoner's human rights than letting them sit in jail for years on end? And the government wouldn't bill the condemned prisoner's family for the cost of the bullet if they had the kind of money that America has, so tell that to Amnesty International.

Things are so fair in China. It's no wonder that there's a tremendous problem with foreign nationals trying to sneak over the border. Sorry, what was that? Oh, those are Chinese citizens trying to get out of the country. They need a little re-education to see how great it is to live in the land of the free...China.