How To Win Friends And Influence Catholics

In an ongoing effort to win back the hearts and minds of disgruntled Catholics, the Dogma Police have silenced yet another priest who dared to suggest that maybe the Church needs to change a few little rules to stop the decline.

Father Brian D'Arcy has written much about the celibacy issue, which the Vatican has declared is a non-starter in the race to resuscitate the Church.

The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, once headed by Cardinal Ratzinger (now we're calling him His Holiness the Pope), came down hard on the priest who sees himself as a journalist as well as a cleric.

He's been told to shut it. Or else.

So pay no mind to Pope Benedict XVI's speech in Cuba, where he called for freedom of speech. He was speaking to the Cubans only, not his priests.

There'll be no freedom of expression there. We'll have none of that.

It's rather quaint, isn't it? There is a mindset at the Holy See that believes the Church would be what it once was, before all this sex abuse scandal, if only we could turn back the clock and return to the glory days.

How to get there?

Make the priests toe the line, like they used to. Pretend none of the bad business that resulted from Vatican actions to cover up the problem of pedophile priests ever happened.

How's it working out?

Do you hear that resounding chorus of cheers from the pews?

No?

That's because it isn't there. The pews are growing more empty by the week.

Sending in the Dogma Police to stifle speech, to not allow priests to question policies that any psychiatrist could tell you are at the root of many of the pedophile problems, isn't going to work on an audience that has reaped the benefit of one aspect of Catholicism.

They're great for the education. Wherever they've gone, the Catholic Church has set up schools to educate people and all that education is paying off.

Educated people are asking questions and doing a bit of thinking on their own. It's not the Middle Ages anymore and parishioners don't need a priest to tell them what's in the Bible when they can read it themselves.

That's where the Dogma Police come in. So don't think too hard.

Just pray, pay and obey.