Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Why Not Make Ten The Highest Volume

The European Union is going to ban loud volumes.

No more cranking up the sound to 11, Spinal Tap fans. No option to make 10 louder. You're hurting your ears and the European Commission won't have it.

All mp3 players and mobile phones that can play music will have to comply to new standards that will set the loudest volume at a level that won't harm European ears. In other words, Europeans no longer have the option to drive themselves deaf. Just like your mother told you, isn't it? Only now the EU is putting the force of law into their nanny mentality.

Young Europeans have long been too stupid to figure out that loud music damages their hearing, so the adults who run the place are going to protect those innocents. When you buy your new mobile with a memory chip filled with The Killers, the default decibel level will be somewhere in the vicinity of silence.

The new devices will have to carry warning labels, alerting users to the grave dangers that loud music poses to their delicate ears. Expect to find out what decibel level can be used, and for how long, to maintain safety. Expect buyers to toss out the chart with the mp3's wrappings.

The only way to make this work is to force the recalcitrant young to attend classes on safe use of personal musical playing devices. Or set the volume control so it only goes up to 5.

No comments: