A Man Hears What He Wants To Hear

The adverts during the Super Bowl were relatively lame this year. After reading Stuart Elliott's article in the NYT today, I understand my disappointment. The ads were all about the war in Iraq.

Couldn't you tell? Why, every time the ad for Prudential Insurance ran, Mr. Elliott heard the announcer proclaim: 'What can Iraq do'. Funny, but I heard it as 'What can a rock do', but that's because we in fly-over country pronounce it "I - rack". Not "Ah- rock". But then, we aren't so fortunate as to have attended prestigious schools out East, where they speak the Queen's English. More similar to Paddy's Irish, actually.

Mr. Elliott bemoans the violence of the adverts as well. What violence, you might ask? Ah, so, you were one of the hordes who ran home after school and watched reruns of The Three Stooges. The face-slapping ad, the man being hit by a rock, sure it was Moe, Larry and Curly. We feel sorry for Stuart, don't we? He was the boy who ran home after school, chased by the bullies, and went straight to his violin lesson and then trundled off home to do his homework and pull straight A's. No doubt passed many an afternoon stuffed in his locker, waiting for the janitor to set him free.

Where else did Stuart Elliott find war? In the beer ad that featured an axe-wielding hitchhiker toting a six pack. Scratching your head, are you? You have to keep in mind our man Stuart, who never goes to see movies unless they have subtitles and never brighten the screen of a megaplex. He doesn't know, you see, about the current slasher movies that Budweiser was mocking. It's all right that you found the ad very funny and Stuart sees the war in Iraq.

Finally, there was the FedEx commercial, in which a character's demise is straight out of a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. Oh, right, cartoons. Stuart was surely too busy working on his project for the school newspaper to have time to park his arse in front of a television on a Saturday morning. So, "...the ongoing war seemed to linger just below the surface..." of all these commercials, according to Stuart Elliott.

No light and happy ads, barring the gay oriented fluff of Coca Cola that garnered a 'What the fuck?' and 'Turn off that shit' from my fellow football fans. According to Mr. Elliott, it's all because of the war, all this cartoonish violence and lack of happy-bubbly. What the fuck is right.