If you happen to run into Cupid, will you send him to New York City? And then could you point out the literary agents that he's to prick with his arrows? For St. Valentine's Day this year, I'd like an agent or two to fall in love with my manuscript.
Roses and chocolates are fine, but these agents are hard to please. They only seem to really care about words and sentences that are put together in such an order as to earn them a great deal of money. So many of them have told me that they have to love something to sell it, and get themselves a bit of cash, and that's where you and Cupid come in.
I've not heard of a novena to St. Valentine, except for that Dorothy Parker prayer. You've heard it, surely? Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. The problem is, these agents won't accept candy or liquor. They want double-spaced pages, numbered consecutively, covered with words that make their heart flutter.
For this year's day of love, that's all I'm asking of you, St. Valentine. I've done my bit, with a pile of queries sent out with the requested sample pages. Now if you could see your way to touching the heart of the literary agent of my dreams...Amen.
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