Monday, November 14, 2005

The Envelope Please

Thanks to the convenience of e-mail, aspiring novelists have been conditioned to expect nothing but a rejection in their SASE's. Despite advances in communication technology, there are some literary agents out there who use the postal service to contact potential clients. In fact, the last three requests for partial manuscripts that I received came in the folded #10 envelope that accompanied the query on its journey.

None of the literary agents accepted e-mail queries, and I begin to wonder if they correspond initially through snail mail to protect their secret e-mail addresses. Certainly Gerard Jones has made more than a few enemies in the literary agent camp when he published just about every single agent's e-mail on his website,www.everyonewhoseanyone.com.

If the public at large believes that a computer makes one an author, then the ease of e-mail makes one a querying wizard. Pity the poor literary agent who must open hundreds of letters, many in a language not quite resembling standard English. The fools are cluttering up the system, making it that much harder for my brilliant opus to stand out from the slush.

Have the literary agents declared war on e-mail? Will the United States Postal System benefit substantially by a return to the old-fashioned letter? Or will fewer potential writers bother to submit if a query involves real paper, real envelopes, and real expenses?

Querying literary agents is an expensive hobby, akin to playing the lottery. The odds of winning either game are dismal, but there is something addictive about the process. Every request for a partial feels like getting four out of the six numbers, a close call that shows the writer has some little spark. Every rejection that comes in the mail is a reminder that it takes all six numbers to win. As they say in the lottery business, you have to play to win. You have to query to be published, and you have to pay to play. Time to fire off more queries.

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