Thursday, May 29, 2014

Pigging Out On Chocolate

I think nothing of buying the wee little ones a box of Cadbury Roses at Christmas or Easter. It's a tradition, to wind them up on a sugar buzz and watch them crash into a cranky heap by the end of the holiday.

But now I must wonder just what is going on at the Cadbury factory. Are these chocolates safe to eat?

Are they safe to eat, I ask, because it turns out that there may be porcine DNA in the candy.

Pig DNA? Piggish parts in a chocolate? How does anything pig-related end up in a chocolate which is supposed to be made of cacao, sugar, cow milk and chemicals?

It's not as if we're talking about chocolate-covered bacon here. No rashers au chocolat being churned out of the factory.

Now let us consider the source of this horror. Authorities in Malaysia claim they found pig DNA in some Cadbury Milk confections produced by a local factory, and since the authorities in question are in charge of ensuring that there is not a speck of pork in anything consumed by the Muslim nation, they are hyper-vigilant.

Or maybe just looking to stir things up and remind people that they are there and serve an important function.

Considering how well their search for a missing airplane went, you'd have to wonder if the Malaysian authorities are capable of locating much of anything, especially something microscopic. DNA is found in everything and samples are easily contaminated unless precautions are taken. False positives are too easily obtained, but that isn't enough to stop a bunch of bureaucrats from raising an alarm.

The Muslim Consumers Association Malaysia is now calling for a boycott of Cadbury and all products sold by its parent company, Kraft Foods. On the basis of a single test that has not been verified.

What are the odds that the lab technician indulged in a bacon-laced treat and introduced pork DNA into the lab? With the orthodoxy police ready to pounce on every sinner, you wouldn't expect that person to confess to a little dietary fall from grace. The consequences are no doubt dire.

Better to encourage a boycott of Kraft and its Mondelez spin-off than face the holier-than-thou crowd.

Meanwhile, Cadbury is running its own tests and expects to have results within the week. Perhaps while they test their chocolates they could look around and see if someone related to a member of the Islamic food police is trying to start up a chocolate manufacturer. Nothing like eliminating the competition to get a leg up and move into an opening niche.

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