Fifty Shades Of Grey: The Trial

During voir dire, did anyone's attorney ask the potential jurors if they had read Fifty Shades of Grey? The trial of O'Brien vs. Anderson could have hinged on whether or not a juror believed the work of fiction could translate into real life.

The lawsuit that Kimberley O'Brien brought against her ex-husband Kevin Anderson alleged that he was into bondage and sadomasochism, as if he were the model on which E. L. James based her trilogy. Ms. O'Brien filed the suit seven years ago, long before Ms. James published her collection of mommy porn. Too bad Ms. O'Brien didn't think of it first, to write her memoir. She might have gotten more money out of a book than she was asking for in court.

Master And Commander

In the end, it was a typical "he said, she said" case in which accusations were lobbed across the
courtroom while the jury listened to some steamy testimony.

Ms. O'Brien sued for a cash settlement to compensate her for all the pain and suffering she endured as a sex slave during her marriage. She said her husband made her walk around the house in nothing but high heels, that he tied her up and sexually abused her, tortured her and pretty much lived the Fifty Shades lifestyle.

For his part, Mr. Anderson said it was all her idea, and he just went along. What guy wouldn't want to play the role of master, right? Could it be that the four men on the jury were so busy being envious of the man that they didn't listen very closely to Ms. O'Brien's side of it?

And what of the four women sitting in judgment, what might have gone through their minds as they were handed photographs taken by the couple? What kind of sick mind would do this, they might have asked. Or did they look at the divorced couple and wonder if Ms. O'Brien was just another gold-digger looking for a big payout.

That was Mr. Anderson's contention. He claimed that his ex-wife wanted to play the sex games and he was a willing participant. She, on the other hand, tried to convince eight of her peers that he manipulated her and used her and emotionally abused her until she was a broken down shell of a person.

The jury listened and the jury spoke. They didn't buy her story, for the simple fact that she never tried to call the cops and have her husband arrested for abuse. She never walked out the door with suitcase in hand, and she had plenty of opportunities to escape.

With the success of E.L. James' novel, it is too late for Ms. O'Brien to pen her own version of sadomasochism as an alternative lifestyle. Publishers don't want copies of blockbusters, they want originals. To make matters worse, she lost the case, and there will be no $60 million settlement.

Perhaps a new husband who is also in need of a sex slave? But get the money up front.