Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Must Present Proof Of Insurance And WeightWatchers Membership
The engineers are analyzing reams of data, calculating drag and friction, and they've come to an important conclusion.
The bodies within the car's cabin have gotten too big.
Increasing rates of obesity are cutting into a vehicle's fuel efficiency. The engineer can make the car's body as light as safely possible, but when they next add in a couple of adults and a few kids, all that poundage just spoils their well-crafted plans.
There is only one way to work around this critical issue.
In future, anyone purchasing or registering a motor vehicle must present proof of insurance and proof that they are enrolled in some sort of weight loss program. Not only will the clerks at the Department of Motor Vehicles test your vision, they'll weigh you.
Do you think automobile designers are going to keep on streamlining cars if the drivers supersize? Those people study for many years to become skilled at their craft, and they aren't going to put up with car owners reversing all those gains in fuel efficiency.
The cup holder of tomorrow will sense the contents of your beverage and eject any and all sugary drinks. Black coffee or sugar-free liquids only will be allowed, and you can forget about fitting any extra large drink container in one of them.
Sensors in the seats will sound alarms if you're beyond the weight limit. Advanced car models will not start if the driver or passengers are too fat.
We all know we're supposed to be watching what we eat and drop a few pounds, but so far, nothing the government has done seems to work.
It's time to step it up. Take away something that people really want---their cars. America would soon be the slimmest nation on earth.