How To Deal With Austerity

For too long, governments spent money and gave away all sorts of prezzies so that people would vote the politicians back in, year after year.

Now that the bill's come due and the party is over, all those who rode the pig's back have fallen into the muck and how does one return to prosperity when the hand-outs have stopped?

The face of Atkins Ireland, Tom Lyons, found a very clever way to pad his salary, and without having to do much hard work.

The State didn't need so much traffic and transportation advice after the Celtic Tiger expired. The big project that Mr. Lyons was to head in Dublin was put on hold due to austerity measures. So Mr. Lyons took action and opened up his own string of businesses in Limerick City.

What could be more lucrative than a string of brothels?

Mr. Lyons and his partner, Ms. Zelandia Silva of Brazil, were in the world's oldest business, a proposition that brought in enough money to pay for the many apartments that became job sites.

The gardai had been keeping an eye on Mr. Lyons for the past two years, during which time he must have been living rather well for a man whose employer was losing State-sponsored business and cutting back.

But what's a man to do when the source of his capital turns off the spigot?

You have to pay the mortgage. You have to eat.

And there's always the outside chance that a transportation project might be deemed so important that it can't be cut, no matter how austere the government wishes to appear to be. You need a second job that won't interfere with the first. Running a brothel is perfect for the situation Mr. Lyons was in.

Before long, he'll not have to worry about paying his bills, since the State will cover his housing and meals and medical care for the next several years.

After that, he might be able to re-enter the consulting business.

Who wouldn't want to take advice from a man who found a way around the problem? Human trafficking and traffic control---isn't there some sort of link in there?