Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Taking Things Literally

As the offspring of Simon & Schuster's Simon, singer Carly Simon could be expected to take things literally. After all, it's words that financed her childhood and made her life well-cushioned.

So when Starbucks said they'd promote her new album in their plethora of coffee shops, she took them at their word.

Their word turned out to be as fleeting as the steam on a grande no-fat double-shot latte.

In Ms. Simon's opinion, Starbucks failed to stock enough albums in the stores when it was fresh and new, thereby losing valuable impulse purchasers. When the racks were finally filled, Starbucks cut the price to move them out, and everyone in publishing knows that cut-rate products are remainders that no one wanted the first time around. Not where any artist wants to be, on the remainder table.

Starbucks has countered with a more simple explanation. They did what they were supposed to do. Ms. Simon's album sucked. No one wanted to buy a collection of shite pressed into discs, and all the publicity in the world wouldn't move it.

Like manuscripts, opinions are subjective. Carly Simon should be aware of this sad fact.

In a way, the failure of the album to sell at Starbucks is a giant rejection letter. It's the sort of things that writers are painfully familiar with.

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