My theory on what killed off the Neanderthals has been verified by a multinational group of scientists who used radio-carbon dating and climate data to demonstrate a link I had postulated months ago.
There was a time when Father Nature turned down the thermostat, annoyed with Mother Earth who was always complaining of the cold and kept turning up the heat, and if she had to pay the natural gas bills she'd be putting on a sweater if she's so feckin' chilled. In the process of settling their domestic dispute, the Neanderthals froze to death and that's what extinction is all about.
These days, Mother Earth has her hand on the buttons and she could see her breath it was so cold and what's the point of having a furnace if you're not going to use it, for the love of Christ, and Father can strip down to his shorts if he has a problem with the temperature.
Like their Neanderthal antecedents, modern scientists are running from pillar to post, declaiming climate change and how it means the end of the world as we know it. Certainly it was the end of the world for the Neanderthals, who froze to death. They were wishing that there would be a period of warming, like now, but it came 35,000 years too late for them.
All the talk about climate change, the panic, the fear....it's a bit overblown, when you realize that the earth's climate has run through these same changes over the course of millions of years. The temperature last year, or one hundred years ago? Statistically, it's nearly insignificant compared to the overall life of this planet. Rising ocean levels? The ocean's been higher before. Is homo sapiens so mighty that he can prevent it by reducing greenhouse gasses? What a piece of work is man, so infinite in faculty, but not so powerful that he can control everything in his domain.
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